Rockstar Games has updated the official website for Grand Theft Auto V with three new additions to its “Visit Los Santos & Blaine County” section, giving us insight into the game’s tattoo shops, golf club, and yoga practices.
Find the new information below. View a new set of screenshots at the gallery.
Local Artisans
To stand out, you need ink.
Any self respecting resident has ink in their skin and metal in their face. Visit one of our local tattoo parlors like Ink Inc or Blazing Tattoo and let one of the talented and highly-trained artists help you make a decision that will last forever.
Mourning an ex? Just got a divorce? Like pictures of cats hanging from a branch? Ready to get sexy with a tramp stamp? It’s all up to you.
Take a quick tour around the shop!
Characters
- Spider – After earning his Masters Degree in Physics and starting a family, Spider decided to change course in life and start a rock band, date spaced out girls, and manage a tattoo shop.
- Boonie – Boonie is a visiting tattoo artist from Liberty City who particularly enjoys performing genital piercings.
- Chico – Chico has stopped by to get a new word tattooed under his wife’s name on his arm.
VIP Customer Wall of Shame
- “I needed some cover up work done, and these guys were top notch. You go through phases in life and I think the naked devil lady with demons coming out of her lady parts is behind me now. I’m more at peace and don’t hate women as much.” – Luis Francesco
- “I need a tattoo to remind me of my grandmother, so I got the skull on my arm dedicated to her. I’m sorry I killed you nana.” – Frederico Nathan
- “I wanted to get something on my back so that when my lover was behind me I could say ‘you see that skull cross? Don’t you ever leave me or I will kill you, hear me?’ and then I usually need to be held while I cry. It’s pretty spiritual.” – Ramon Jenkins
- “I wanted something classy, so I got a heart with my brother’s name written across it. My boyfriend gets so jealous, but he doesn’t understand the special bond we have.” – Shelia White
- “I had to have a full sleeve done but was worried about the price. A friend told me about this place and said they are mad cheap. When you are making a decision that lasts a lifetime, go for the lowest bid.” – Tone Sampson
Los Santos Golf Club
- Feel Like a VIP! – If you are too lazy or can’t find a manservant to carry your luggage, then drive around in a tiny electric car, despite the fact that you would never be caught dead in a hybrid otherwise.
- Membership – The Los Santos Country Club has been accused of many things, but we’ve never been accused of being welcoming. Custom and formality are priority at this exclusive club. Corporate moguls and celebrities are all treated with equal disdain.
- A New Dawn – Thanks to equality laws passed recently, the LS Country Club has announced the admittance of two carefully selected women. Of course all are welcome to enroll for membership, though the selection criteria are kept confidential for legal reasons.
- Club Fees – This is an exclusive club for people like you – people who can pay to join clubs that preserve the splendor of an institution set up as a financial barrier to keep out undesirables. For those that value their privacy, rest assured that nosy journalists are escorted off the property and treated with the respect they deserve.
Serenity & Wellness
San Andreas practically invented yoga. It certainly invented the time honored tradition of the relaxing coffee enema. Whether it’s the Downward Dog pose or the more advanced Dropping Fire Log, there are many fulfilling and compromising positions you can contort yourself into with the help of an expert like Master Private Yoga Instructor, Fabien LaRouche.
Positions
- Punching Starfish – A special pose that is both spiritual and mental, practiced in the Far East, popularized by the Greeks. It is a pose that requires discipline to be entered slowly, or injury may occur and cause a partner to weep and never attempt the pose again.
- Downward Facing Camel – True Namaste is achieved with this pose as the celestial spark within us is free – and the third eye opens to increase the flow of divine love.
- Lucky Triangle – This deeply spiritual pose frequently begins with salutations with a potential partner to see if they are interested in stretching their mind and spirits after consuming some. Often requires a safe word.
