Grand Theft Auto V ‘Epsilon Program’ video
posted on 04.22.13 at 04:54 PM EST by (@salromano)
Trees talk, but only some people can hear them.

Rockstar Games has released a Grand Theft Auto V teaser video detailing the “12 Goals of Epsilonism,” the game’s fictional religion.

Among the tenets, you’ll learn that “aliens exist and are present on earth,” “trees talk, but only some people hear them,” and “people who believe in something live much longer than atheists.”

These are all facts, of course.

A man (pictured), probably a key figure of the religion, appears towards the end.

“The Epsilon Program does not exist in just one time or place. We invite you to visit one of our enlightenment centers,” reads Rockstar’s website. “Directions will be provided in one week’s time.”

Watch the video below.

  • rockman29

    humourless and boring

    seriously, they aren’t that funny, none of the GTA viral campaigns have been, very tame slapstick humour

    • celebrinando

      FOR you hater

      • rockman29

        no shit sherlock ;)

        • Always No. 9

          Right up his arse servbot, eh?……Also, agreed….this shite was excruciating…..#9

        • celebrinando

          What is your shit opinion near GTA success? NOTHING

          • rockman29

            what does success have to do with their viral campaigns not being funny? lol

            stop acting like GTA is your boyfriend

          • http://gematsu.com/ Sal Romano

            Don’t come to this site with that kind of attitude. Everyone has opinions and are allowed to express them. Attacking someone for having an opinion different than yours is not welcomed.

    • checkeredknight

      You must study the 12 Goals of Epsilonism further. KIFFLOM, brother.

    • PrinceHeir

      sadly i agree :D

      prefer games like Yakuza, Shenmue, Sleeping Dogs than over rated games like the GTA series

      • http://blacksitepsu.deviantart.com/ BlacksitePSU

        It sounds like you just prefer open world games with Asian settings. Doesn’t mean the GTA series is overrated.

        • PrinceHeir

          not really.

          i like Assassins Creed, till it got bored doing the same thing over and over again.

          GTA series quirky fun is slowly being removed in favor realism which is boring as hell.

          heck Just Cause 2 is fun as hell, and Just Cause 3 is gonna blow everything away!!!!

          • http://blacksitepsu.deviantart.com/ BlacksitePSU

            I don’t get how someone can criticize Assassin’s Creed for having the player do the same thing over and over again but praise Just Cause 2 which has a highly-repetitive world map and little gameplay variety.

            Yeah, GTA IV wasn’t perfect but it wasn’t as bad as some people made it out to be. One thing people tend to overlook is attention to detail which I feel is important.

            • celebrinando

              “bad as people made it out to be” what people?

              • http://blacksitepsu.deviantart.com/ BlacksitePSU

                It wasn’t as bad as some people made it out to be. I didn’t mean everyone. Sorry.

          • celebrinando

            take a look at the GTA V sales and after this we talk about “boring”

      • celebrinando

        show me the numbers of sales, people love GTA like you or not

        • thundy

          Not everyone who bought it liked it. Most people don’t like a game before they play it.

  • celebrinando

    goty

  • Hatsuaki

    I’m… not sure what the purpose of this video is.

  • Guest

    Overrated series, my ass.

    I’m a huge fan of GTA but I also like to play other open world games like Sleeping Dogs. That said, I hate it when people have to pick sides. Just because people were disappointed with GTA IV, one game in the series, they act as though the developers can’t right any wrongs with the next installment.

    GTA V is my most anticipated game of the year and I feel like no other development studio out there puts as much attention to detail in their open world games as Rockstar North does with the GTA series.

    I don’t like my video games to be too realistic or over-the-top though I feel that a lot of the hate GTA IV received was exaggerated.

    • celebrinando

      what GTA IV hate? They are the minority

  • bloodiOS

    After watching the whole clip, I felt that I just watched something rather pointlessly boorish… The whole thing sounded to me like a bunch of random ideas thrown together by a 14-year-old. I just regrettably wasted three good minutes of my life.

    • Guest

      You could have stopped watching it any point but instead chose to watch the entire three minutes.

      • bloodiOS

        It certainly isn’t wrong for me to expect that something relevant and and interesting might be hidden somewhere within those three minutes, is it? How am I suppose to know that the entire clip would be such a waste of time?

        • Guest

          Visually, we got a good look at the quality of NPCs in the game, if we’re going by the one character model that was shown in the video, and possibly shots of San Andreas.

          I don’t think most people will get the point of the video anyway unless you were into San Andreas (and I assumed most people following GTA V were).

          • bloodiOS

            In other words, the video is a crowd divider, mean to exclude people who just recently got interested in the series, like me. Sweetness.

            • Guest

              I still think you could have stopped watching the video at any time. Or skip towards the very end where the article states there is a man pictured. In general, read the article so you know what you’re getting into before watching said video.

              Just saying.

              • bloodiOS

                No use talking about what could’ve been done. I chose to watch the whole thing, expecting more from the video than I should have, which left me disappointed, so I expressed it in my comment. That’s all there is to it. Moving on…

            • celebrinando

              hahahahahahaha…just take a look at GTA V sales and we talk later

              • thundy

                Oh so because the game will sell well it means it’s good? There are plenty of games out there which sold well but weren’t good.

                • celebrinando

                  1- Good or Bad is all about personal taste

                  2- Part of the people are too extreme, because they not enjoy an specific aspect of the game, say that the full package is bad. Elsewhere are hypocrites, they buy, have fun, but do not assume, are ungrateful. Of course the ultimate experience with the game is different from the experience gained with demos, gameplay videos and trailers, but not enough to change the essence of the game. Hardly nowadays, people buy a game without knowing what to expect from it. May displease one or another element, but is impossible to have big surprises about the content of the product. People know exactly what they’re buying, and buy because they like .

              • bloodiOS

                And how exactly is this relevant to me talking about how I felt about the video? I’m not even criticizing the game! You know what, there isn’t a need to “talk later”. I don’t like talking to mindless drones.

  • http://twitter.com/RaiuLyn Raiu

    Just watched the video…. What is the point of that video for, Rockstar?

    • Guest

      From the article, “…detailing the 12 Goals of Epsilonism, the game’s fictional religion.”

  • Sae-Won Yoon

    …..Kifflom?

  • Soopa Fly

    Well i guess i was the only one that saw this as funny, but some gameplay vids would be nice.